My road from home to work runs along Al Farabi Avenue in Almaty. Who does not know, it is a wide street of three lanes in one direction, separated by a “green” strip of lawn, trees and a light metal fence. The avenue runs almost through the entire city, and if you count Saina Street and VOAD (Eastern Bypass Road), it completely encircles the city.
In the past, when there were few cars in Almaty, you could quickly go around the city along Al Farabi almost without traffic lights. But no one remembers that time, except the old-timers.
Today, the avenue is just crazy in terms of traffic organization. The permitted speed limit is 80 km/h. No traffic lights, no ground crosswalks, no intersections. Highly gassy, high noise and dust levels. Crosswalks only in the form of elevated or underground bridges. In general, all conditions for legal killing of people in the largest city of Kazakhstan.
There are no bike lanes or public transportation lanes on the avenue. But in some strange way, the avenue is home to several Almaty Bike bicycle rental stations and scooter-sharing points. Can you imagine this rattling mixture of high-minded urbanism?
The only decoration of Al Farabi Avenue is the view of the mountains. Winter, summer, fall, spring - it doesn't matter! They are always beautiful. And every time you realize - this madness will go away, but the mountains will stay.
Here we go. Funny story. I almost forgot.
One morning. On this crazy road to work, on my bike, riding in the safety lane. Beautiful day, beautiful morning. By the way, the lane is marked with markings that are not in the Kazakhstani traffic rules. It's a combination of lines 1.4 and 1.16.1 - haven't seen that combination in the Kazakhstani Road Rules. Tell me if I'm wrong.
I'm driving along, not touching anyone. And then an old Mercedes-Benz starts pushing me to the curb. Or rather, I'm driving on the curb. And then, after 30 centimeters, there is a granite curb and a deep ditch.
Sh#t, do you remember there were no curbs for a long time and cars fell into ditches in winter, trying to bypass the traffic jam from the right side? Our mayor's office is funny, isn't it? The car is lying in the ditch — well, you are a fool! There is no reason to overtake the traffic jam on the right, the mayor's team has a surprise for non-locals.
— Hey, brother, be careful, please! — I shouted out the window to the driver of the Mercedes. I did, and I overtook him. I don't know what he heard. He started frantically, as far as possible in the morning traffic jam, catching up with me and pressing me against the curb. And he did this several times while we were traveling parallel. I didn't see that coming.
The prospect of being smeared under the wheels of a car or flying at full speed into a ditch, having previously flipped over the curb, did not suit me at all. I was determined to continue my beautiful morning.
I caught up with a car that had managed to get away from me and had stopped again in a traffic jam. I left my bike on the curb, went around to the driver's side of the car. And through the open window, I punched the driver in the jaw. No words, no warning. Just like that. He jumped out of the car. Started waving his arms around, trying to hit me, too.
Can you imagine a morning performance art scene for all the viewers in traffic? A cyclist in a tight suit fights with a driver. I'm sure the big question on the audience's mind was:
— Faaaaaack, how can I unsee that? What's their beef?
One guy shouted out of the car window, grinning through his teeth: — “Hit him with the helmet! Slam him!” What he doesn't know is that the helmet is light and soft, and is completely unsuitable as a weapon in hand-to-hand combat.
But how surprised I was when a pregnant woman went out of the car, from the back passenger seat! About seven or eight months pregnant! It turned out that the wife of this grief driver had been sitting there all this time and had seen the whole escalation of the conflict! When I saw the pregnant woman, my fervor disappeared immediately. I wanted to apologize and pull myself together. I tried to do that...
But no way! This frail-looking woman, in a respectable pregnant state. Absolutely cold-bloodedly approached my bicycle, took it in her hands, raised it above her head and threw it into the ditch with all her might!
At that moment, I just... lost my sense of reality of what was happening. All I could do was accept the behavior of those 'Bonnie and Clyde' people. Forgive them and let them go. I couldn't do anything against a pregnant woman. Not even with words.
But now, I think back every time, and it makes me laugh at their weird, crazy solidarity against me.
Works in tourism and IT projects since 2006. Develops adventure tourism in Baikonur Adventures, because well-developed luxury tourism of the company Travel Club Kazakhstan he seems too comfortable and these trips don't feel adventurous at all, but he wish they did.
Frequently travels. He sees successful and not so successful examples of urban infrastructure in different cities around the world. He wants to apply the successful ones in Almaty, where he lives since 2005, raising his children, hiking, biking and using public transportation.
